A funeral done in a way you want it to be

There are no laws in the United Kingdom relating to funerals. The law states ‘Next of kin must dispose of the body of the person who has died by burial, cremation or other means.’

The only other requirement is that the death is registered appropriately.

Therefore, a funeral should be anything that you want it to be. Our role as undertakers is to support you rather than direct you and we are here to help you navigate your way to creating a funeral ceremony that is both meaningful and transformative. At Wells Funeral Services we believe in asking our clients what they want to happen at a funeral for their family member or friend rather than tell them what must happen. If they want to be involved in the lead up to the funeral we actively encourage this.

The funerals we have assisted with so far this year have all varied.

One included the husband and sons of the lady who had died visiting Musgrove Willow to assist with weaving her willow coffin. Guided through the whole process by one of their skilled weavers they spent four hours carefully crafting her coffin. An experience that brought them together as a family and one they all found to be healing and therapeutic. They asked if on the day of the funeral they could use cars from the car club they belonged to rather than our limousines. Their cortège was made up of beautiful classic E-Type Jaguars, with Wells High Street and market pausing for just a moment as they passed through. The ceremony that took place in the crematorium followed a format requested by the family, with a sing along to some of her favourite songs and rather than a committal the words of goodbye came from a favourite book.

Another was a burial, the family of the young lady who had died wished to have the funeral service in a church in Wells, despite not being particularly religious. They needed a venue big enough to accommodate the hundreds of family and friends that were attending. The associated vicar and celebrant worked side by side to deliver exactly what the family wanted, a ceremony with just a touch of religion that perfectly reflected the young lady it was for, with her favourite music played rather than hymns and quotes from series such as Prison Break and Wentworth. The brief ceremony of goodbye followed at the graveyard for her close family and friends.

Then there was the lady who wanted everything completely stripped back for her husband. She requested a direct cremation but wanted to be completely involved with the preparation of her husband’s body in light of their beliefs relating to their heritage. Assisted by two of our team she washed and dressed her husband, while doing so we played his favourite songs. Once he was ready and placed in his coffin she spent some time alone with him in our chapel of rest. On the day of the cremation, she rode in the hearse to accompany him on his final journey.

Every life is unique, therefore every funeral we deliver is unique. We will do our utmost to accommodate your requests, we will guide you if you need help, but we will never tell you what you must do.

A Compassionate Christmas: Bereavement Support with Jill Edmonds

As we head into December everywhere we go reminds us that Christmas is fast approaching. For many this is a happy time, with an atmosphere of joy and togetherness as family and friends get together, but for others it is a time of sadness and loneliness. Coping with grief leading up to and during the Christmas period when someone you love has died can be exceptionally challenging. Whether it has been a few months or a few years the festive period can be a reminder of absence, amplifying feelings of grief and loneliness.

The following are some ideas which may help.

Acknowledge Your Feelings:

It's essential to recognise and accept your feelings of sadness, grief, and even anger. Grief is natural, and it's okay to feel the way you do, whether that is sad or happy. It is possible to experience moments of joy, laughter, and connection with others, even while grieving.

Plan Ahead:

Decide in advance how you want to approach Christmas. You can choose to continue with some traditions, modify them, or create new ones. Having a plan can provide a sense of control.

Share Your Feelings:

Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. Sharing your emotions with a friend, family member, or a support group can be very helpful.

Celebrate Your Loved One's Life:

Rather than focusing on their absence, celebrate the positive memories and the impact they had on your life. Share stories and cherish the time you had together.

Create New Traditions:

If the thought of continuing old traditions is too painful, try starting new ones that acknowledge your grief. This can help you navigate through the Christmas period in a way that feels more comfortable.

Set Boundaries:

It's perfectly fine to set limits on what you can handle. You can decline invitations or limit your time at social events if you need to. Find the balance between solitude and socialising that works best for you. Some quiet time to reflect can be valuable, but don't isolate yourself entirely.

Self-Care:

Look after yourself. Pay attention to your physical and emotional well-being. Eat, sleep, exercise, and maybe investigate relaxation techniques.

Remember You Are Not Alone:

It is during times like these that specialised support becomes invaluable. Wells Funeral Services believe in offering comprehensive support to the families we have worked with over the years and recognise that the grieving process can be complex and overwhelming. As part of our ongoing commitment to you, we want to inform you that we have affiliated ourselves with a professional grief counsellor who specialises in guiding individuals through the intricate journey of grief. Jill Edmonds is experienced in providing compassionate and personalised support to help navigate the various emotional stages following the loss of a loved one.

Why Trust Jill Edmonds with Your Emotional Well-being?

Jill Edmonds is a seasoned professional with a unique blend of qualifications and life experiences that make her exceptionally suited for bereavement counselling. Jill spent 22 years as Head of Music at Wells Cathedral Junior School. Through her career in education Jill has acquired a profound understanding of the emotional complexities that humans face at different stages of life.

Jill is a qualified grief and bereavement counsellor and wellbeing coach who works with all people of ages. With a holistic approach to mental health Jill addresses the emotional and physical aspects of well-being, offering a comprehensive counselling service.

Perhaps most compelling is Jill's personal journey through grief. Having lost her husband to cancer, she navigated the complexities of loss first-hand. While Jill understands everybody’s journey through grief and loss is different, this deeply personal experience gives her the ability to connect with others on an emotional level, with genuine understanding and compassion to truly understand the struggles and challenges they face.

A New Chapter with Wells Funeral Services

Jill's appointment as the associate bereavement counsellor for Wells Funeral Services marks a new chapter in our commitment to providing comprehensive care for those dealing with loss. Jill's approach to counselling mirror’s the care, compassion, and dedication that we consistently offer our clients. Her services are the natural extension of our own, flexible, adaptable to the unique needs of each individual and able to make strong connections with people from all walks of life in their time of need.

Jill has a genuine love for helping others, she is compassionate, easy to talk to, patient and understanding. If you are struggling to deal with your mixed emotions and challenges that arise as we head into the festive period, you may benefit from some professional help from Jill. Jill's role will involve providing a confidential space where you can freely express your feelings without judgement. Jill can also offer guidance to help you find a delicate balance that suits your unique needs and circumstances during this demanding and emotionally charged time of the year.

To be put in touch with Jill please do not hesitate to contact us.

Eulogy Essentials: Crafting the Perfect Tribute

Written by Nicky Sutton Independent Celebrant

A eulogy, sometimes referred to as a life story, is a speech that pays tribute to the person who has died, celebrating their life, achievements, and legacy. It is also a way to express your feelings and share your memories with others who knew them.

Whether to write a eulogy for a loved one or friend yourself or have a professional write it for you is a personal choice that depends on various factors, including your emotional state, writing skills, and the specific circumstances of the situation.

In the end, the choice between writing the eulogy yourself and seeking professional help depends on your comfort level, the complexity of the eulogy, and your emotional state. It is important to remember that there is no right or wrong approach. You can also choose a middle ground, where you write the eulogy yourself and then seek help from a professional Celebrant in editing or refining it, you may also want them to deliver it on the day.

The most crucial factor is to create a eulogy that genuinely honours the memory of your loved one or friend and provides comfort and closure to those who are mourning. Whether it is a personally written eulogy or one crafted with professional assistance, both can be equally meaningful and heartfelt.

How can you craft a unique, personal, and meaningful eulogy that honours the person you are saying goodbye to? Here are some tips to help you:

Start by brainstorming.

Think of the qualities, values, and passions that defined the person. What made them special? What did they love? What did they teach you? How did they touch your life and the lives of others? Write down any stories, anecdotes, quotes, or jokes that come to mind. Ask family members and friends for their input and perspectives.

Choose a theme or focus.

A eulogy does not have to cover every aspect of the person’s life, and you don’t want it to read like a CV. It can be more effective to focus on one or a few themes that capture their essence. For example, you can talk about their courage, generosity, humour, or faith or beliefs. You want to talk of the different chapters throughout their life, although you may wish to focus on a specific time, such as their childhood, career, or retirement. Or you can highlight a particular relationship, such as their role as a parent, spouse, son or daughter, friend, or mentor.

Organise your ideas.

Once you have gathered enough material, you can start to structure your eulogy. A common format is to have an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. In the introduction, you can state your name and your relationship to the person who has died, thank everyone for being there, and give a brief overview of what you are going to talk about. In the body, you can expand on your theme or focus, using stories and examples to illustrate your points, this should run in a chronological order. In the conclusion, you can summarise your main message, express your gratitude and love for the person, and say your final farewell.

Write from the heart.

A eulogy is not a formal essay or a biography. It is a personal and emotional tribute that reflects the character and personality of the person it is for. You can use humour, poetry, readings or quotes if they fit the tone and mood of your speech. You should also address the person directly, using their name or relationship to you instead of “he” or “she”. Be honest and sincere but avoid being too negative or critical. You want a balanced feel of the person, remember that you are honouring the person’s life, not judging it.

Practice.

After you have written your first draft, read it aloud and see how it sounds. You can also ask someone else to listen to it and give you feedback. Make sure that your eulogy is clear, coherent, and concise. Avoid using jargon, acronyms, or obscure references that might confuse the audience. Check for any spelling or grammatical errors. You should also time yourself and see if your eulogy fits within the allotted time frame. If it is too long or too short, you can adjust it accordingly.

Deliver with confidence.

On the day of the funeral or memorial service, prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for giving your eulogy. You might feel nervous or emotional, which is normal and understandable. Take some deep breaths and relax. Have a copy of your eulogy with you, either on paper or on a device, without your script you are likely to go off topic and lose structure and track of time. You should also have some water nearby in case you need it. Speak slowly and clearly, making eye contact with the audience. If you get choked up or forget something, don’t worry. Just pause for a moment, compose yourself and resume when you are ready. Remember that you are not alone; you are surrounded by people who care about you and the person you are honouring.

A eulogy is a beautiful way to pay tribute to someone who has died. By following these tips, you can craft a unique, personal, and meaningful eulogy that expresses your feelings and celebrates their life.

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The Five Stages of Grief: Navigating Loss and Finding Healing

Grief is a natural response to the loss of a loved one or friend, a significant life change, or a profound disappointment. It is a complex and deeply personal experience that can impact every aspect of life.

Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the concept of the "Five Stages of Grief" in her 1969 book "On Death and Dying" to help individuals cope with this overwhelming emotion. These stages are not meant to be a one-size-fits-all model, as grief doesn’t follow a particular pattern, but rather a framework to understand the emotions people commonly experience when dealing with loss. In this blog, we will explore each of these stages in-depth.

1. Denial

Denial is the first stage of grief and serves as a defence mechanism to protect us from the shock of loss. During this phase, it is common to feel numb, as if the reality of the situation hasn't sunk in yet. You may find yourself thinking, "This can't be happening" or "It's just a bad dream." It is a temporary, protective state that gives you time to adjust to the overwhelming truth.

2. Anger

As the numbness of denial begins to fade, anger can take its place. This is when the pain of loss starts to become real. You may feel an intense anger directed at yourself, the person who has died, or even at the circumstances. Anger is a natural response to the powerlessness and injustice that grief often brings. It is important to remember that it is okay to feel angry and to express this emotion in a healthy way, such as talking to a trusted friend or counsellor.

3. Bargaining

During the bargaining stage, people often attempt to make deals with a higher power, fate, or themselves to reverse or change the outcome. You might find yourself thinking, "If only I had done things differently, this wouldn't have happened." This phase is marked by a sense of guilt and the desire to find a way to avoid or mitigate the pain of loss. It is crucial to recognise that while it's natural to seek ways to make sense of the loss, some things are beyond our control.

4. Depression

Depression is a common response to the deep sadness that accompanies grief. It is not the same as clinical depression but rather a natural reaction to the emotional and psychological toll of loss. This stage can manifest as feelings of hopelessness, despair, isolation, and profound sadness. It is important to differentiate between normal grief-related sadness and clinical depression, which may require professional intervention.

5. Acceptance

The final stage of grief is acceptance. In this phase, individuals begin to come to terms with the reality of the loss and find a way to move forward. It doesn't mean that the pain of grief is gone, but it signals a transition towards healing and adjusting to a life without the person or thing they have lost. This stage often involves finding ways to remember and honour the memory of the loved one while gradually re-engaging with the world around you.

The Reality of Grief

It is important to emphasise that not everyone will experience these stages in the same order or with the same intensity. Grief is a highly individualised process, and it does not have a set timeline. People may also move back and forth between these stages or experience multiple stages simultaneously. Some individuals may find themselves stuck in one stage, unable to progress to the next. In such cases, seeking support from friends, family, or a counsellor can be invaluable.

Coping with Grief

Navigating grief is a challenging journey, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is essential to allow yourself to experience the emotions that come with grief, without judgement. Here are some coping strategies that may help during this difficult time:

Seek Support

Lean on friends, family, or a support group. Talking to someone who understands what you're going through can provide immense comfort.

Express Yourself

Find outlets for your emotions. This can include writing in a diary or journal, art, music, or any creative medium that helps you process your feelings.

Self-Care

Prioritise self-care. This includes getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in physical activities that promote your well-being.

Professional Help

Don't hesitate to seek professional support from a therapist or counsellor, especially if your grief becomes overwhelming or persistent.

Create a Memorial

Finding ways to remember and honour your loved one or friend can be a source of comfort. This may include creating a memorial, participating in activities that they enjoyed, or donating in their memory to a charity that was important to them.

Set Realistic Expectations

Understand that healing from grief is a gradual process, and there is no "normal" timeline. Give yourself the space to grieve at your own pace.

Conclusion

Grief is a complex and deeply personal experience. Understanding the five stages of grief can provide a framework for navigating the emotional and psychological challenges that loss brings. However, it is essential to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and seeking support is a crucial step in the healing process. Ultimately, healing from grief is a journey, and it is a journey that can be made more manageable with the support of friends, family, and professionals.

Grief counselling can be an invaluable resource, Bath and Wells Funeral Directors collaborates with an experienced counsellor, Jill Edmonds, who specialises in helping individuals cope with loss. Please do not hesitate to reach out if you feel you need more help and support, and we can put you in touch with Jill.

Wells Funeral Services is evolving

As an independent business Wells Funeral Services offers a personal, sympathetic, and friendly service to all our clients. Our aim is to ensure our clients feel cared for and listened to and helped to achieve the funeral they want and need because we believe that good funerals are incredibly important.

Year on year the business has been expanding with more and more people liking Rod's approach to funerals as more and more families put their trust in us. As we strive to help a wider community of people so they can get what they need from a funeral and funeral director we have expanded our team. We have increased our number of carriers, known also as pallbearers and others within the team have taken on new roles.

Nicky Sutton is now involved in the business outside of the role of celebrant, and joins Rod as an undertaker, to help him with the additional requirements of the business but he also recognised the need for a lady undertaker in what is still a very male dominated profession. She is involved in all aspects of the business, from visiting families to discussing what they would like for a funeral, collecting the person who has died from their home, care home, hospital or hospice, the care of their body and dressing them when they come into our care, then taking on the role of undertaker on the day of the funeral.

Nicky is professional, focused, yet empathetic and patient and has been working alongside Rod since 2016, between them they make sure clients receive exactly what they wish to achieve from the funeral they are planning.

Rod’s son Blake is also becoming more involved in the business after spending the last couple of years learning all aspects of the industry. He is in Wells every Wednesday on the market chatting with former clients and those who may approach him thinking about their future or that of a family member or friend. He is also taking on the role of undertaker, and still only in his early twenties, probably one of the youngest in the area.

Rod of course is still very much involved but recognises the fact he isn’t getting any younger! He will still be the first port of call when contacting the business and will be there every step of the way, whether up front or busy in the background ensuring every client receives the professional, caring and individual service that is required.

Upholding the Respect and Dignity of Loved Ones: A Response to Recent Funeral Industry Exposé

At Wells Funeral Services, we understand that entrusting your loved one to our care is a responsibility of great magnitude. It is more than a business transaction; it is a pact of trust, respect, and compassion.

So, it was with shock and deep regret that we read about the recent undercover investigation by Channel 4's Dispatches programme, revealing distressing practices within Co-operative Funeralcare, the UK's largest funeral company. The report exposed disheartening practices including stacking bodies like merchandise in warehouses, removing coffin lids to transport more bodies in a van, and even presenting the wrong body at a funeral. These actions reflect an absolute disregard for the dignity and respect that every individual deserves, even in death.

This story is not just about one company's shortcomings. It's a wake-up call about the need for transparency, empathy, and respect within the funeral industry, values that Wells Funeral Services holds dear.

We feel it's important to make it clear that these distressing practices do not represent the standards of every funeral service provider. As an independent, locally owned funeral director, we believe in upholding the highest professional and ethical standards. Unlike large, corporate funeral companies, we are not accountable to distant stockholders. We are accountable to you, the families we serve, and the community we are part of.

We do not see your loved ones as numbers but as individuals, each deserving of care, respect, and dignity. We understand that the last rites are not just formalities but deeply personal events that help provide closure and honour the life lived. The importance of our role in this process is never underestimated or taken lightly.

It is disheartening to think that many families may not know the realities of the services they engage until it's too late, especially when they are already navigating the choppy waters of grief. It is our belief that everyone should have a basic understanding of the funeral process, the costs involved, and what to expect from their chosen provider.

At Wells Funeral Services, we are committed to fair and transparent pricing, and are proud to be the first funeral director in Wells to be accredited for our pricing fairness and transparency by the Fair Funerals Pledge. We will always listen to your wishes, simplify your choices, and respect your right to make decisions without undue influence.

While it's disheartening to learn of the corporate missteps spotlighted in the Dispatches programme, we see this as an opportunity for positive change. It is a call to action for funeral service providers to revisit their practices, uphold the highest standards, and focus on the respect and dignity of the individuals and families they serve.

At Wells Funeral Services, we're not just here to provide a service. We're here to make a difference. Every day, we strive to provide the best funeral care service we can, because we understand that what we do matters. It matters to you, to your loved ones, and to us. We know there's nothing more important than honouring a life well lived, and we are committed to doing just that.

How the pandemic has changed the way we say goodbye forever

There’s good news for families during difficult times with basic funerals now costing less than £4,000!

The recent mandate for funeral directors to display prices and an increase in budget cremations have led to a decrease in funeral costs.

According to the annual SunLife survey, the price of a basic funeral, including cremation or burial, a funeral director, doctor and minister or celebrant, has dropped by 2.5% last year.

We are committed to fair and transparent pricing, and are proud to be the first funeral director in Wells to be accredited for our pricing fairness and transparency by the Fair Funerals Pledge.

You can see our up to date prices on our Pricing page.

Can we have a funeral in a field?

This is a question that you don’t get asked every day, but the answer was whole heartedly yes!

When it comes to funeral planning the priority is to deliver what a family want, not what tradition states.

Gone are the days when the choices are church or crematorium, but sadly, these are the only options given to the majority grieving families, and they have no idea that other options and possibilities are available to them.  The approach should always be “What would you like to happen?”, not “This is what will happen”.

The family of D wanted something to match his personality and character.  A quirky, unconventional man, always looking for a new adventure and who loved the outdoors and nature.

Religion never played a part in his life, he requested there was none included at his funeral. Not a problem, this is becoming a more regular request.  Can we have the ceremony in a field, with the coffin there? Of course you can, let’s discuss what you would like and how we can make it work for you.

This is the response you should hear from any funeral director worth their salt. The arrangements were made, the field was chosen, and the family started in their quest to turn the field, in the middle of nowhere on the Somerset Levels, into a festival type place.

What a job they did too, a huge stretch tent was erected, adorned with bunting, garlands and fairly lights.  The sound system was set up with a mic for the ceremony and D’s play list blasting through the speakers.

After weeks of hot, dry weather the rain came.  It started the day before the funeral and the day of the funeral was very, very wet.  The hearse rolled cautiously into the field avoiding the slippery mud track followed by the limo. Family and friends, with guidance from bearers, carried his willow coffin into the tent.

The Celebrant-led ceremony had structure, as the family requested, and the focus was D, his life and achievements and tributes were made from family and friends, each one sharing a different perspective on his life.  There was music played and a slideshow of images of his life through the years.

The ceremony ended and it was time to head to the crematorium for a private family committal.  Hearse, limo and back up vehicle left the muddy field without incident and D was bid a final farewell.

His family later returned to the field where they continued the celebration of his life with extended family and friends.

D’s family were happy their wishes had been carried out and they had been able to give him the send-off he wanted. 

A funeral should be as individual as the person themselves. If you would like something different or just some guidance in giving your loved one the funeral they deserve please get in touch, we’re always happy to help.

Is there a governing body for funeral directors?

This may come as some surprise, especially as funeral directors operate under such sensitive conditions, but there is currently no governing body for funeral directors.

There are a number of professional organisations, such as The National Association of Funeral Directors, which provide support and guidance to funeral directors. However, membership to such organisations is entirely voluntary and if a funeral director breaks their Code of Practice, they just receive a fine.

Due to the lack of governing bodies, anyone can call themselves a Funeral Director and start trading.

With this in mind, one of the best things you can do when choosing a funeral director is to read their recent testimonials. This will give you a greater understanding of the quality and experience they can provide for you and your loved ones.

How do you choose a funeral director?

The best way to choose or select a funeral director is to ask for a referral from friends and relatives that have chosen a funeral director in the past.

If that isn’t possible, then search for a funeral director on Google and look at the number and quality of their Google reviews.

Those reviews will be factual from genuine clients giving you an authentic insight into their experience. People that have previously used a funeral director and paid them thousands of pounds have an incentive to tell it how it is.

Wells Funeral Services are pleased to have over 80 5-star reviews on Google, all from previous clients.

These reviews will give you an understanding of our professional and personal funeral services and help you to make a decision when choosing a funeral director.

What is the role of a funeral director?

The role as a funeral director is to ensure that the client's journey from the start of the process to the delivery of a funeral/celebration of life is as painless as possible.

Part of this process is ensuring that the client is kept fully involved and informed every step of the way. However, it's important that the client should only be involved in the parts that only a family member can do and that is the registration or registering the death.

Working alongside the family members, part of the role of a funeral director will be to determine the location of the funeral service, the date and time of the service and understanding whether your loved one should be cremated or buried.

As a funeral director I talk to the next of kin from the first call to the delivery of the funeral/celebration of life. That's what makes Wells Funeral Services us special. As we are an independent, non-fragmented funeral directors, this insures that continuity is present all the way to the delivery of someone’s ashes after a cremation.

Delivering what the client wants

We at Wells Funeral Services offer affordable funerals to the good folk of Mendip, Somerset and beyond.

Since setting up the business in September 2016, we pride ourselves on delivering funerals that people want; establishing our client’s needs, wants and budget is of paramount importance to us. We like to get to know our families and so for us, that means a trip to Wells market, and to be visible to one and all, on a Wednesday from January to November you will find me on my market stall. Reaching out to help with advice, and we like to talk about anything and everything, it’s more about getting to know you.

When selecting a funeral director try to use an independent like myself and look at their reviews, either on their website or on Google reviews. You’re only as good as the last funeral delivered.

Super-Size Coffins becoming the norm

You can view our standard coffin range here

A coffin maker revealed that the demand for extra large caskets is set to increase every year as Britain's obesity crisis continues.

Steven Mitchell, from Essex, founder of funeral comparison website Compare The Coffin, appeared on Dr Michael Mosley's latest documentary Who Made Britain Fat?, which aired on Channel 4 last night.

He revealed to the doctor that around 15 to 20 per cent of their coffins need to be 23 inches wide, and that the size of caskets has to increase every year to accommodate larger bodies.

Traditionally, old crematoriums would be either 30 or 33 inches wide, meaning an extra large coffin would just about squeeze into the larger crematorium. The biggest coffin Steve has had to build is 39 inches, and he says that with larger caskets comes larger burial plots, meaning an additional fee of around £400- £500 for family members.

'When I'm speaking to people, quite often the widest part of the person is no longer the shoulders [it's their waist]', said Steve, 'I'm having to have a very difficult conversation with the family about what size coffin you want to use. 'If you want a burial plot for an oversize person you are paying usually an additional fee, around about £400, £500 extra.'

However, according to the programme, crematoriums are now having to plan for the future and are rebuilding at 46 inches wide.

You can view our standard coffin range here

Read the original article here

'Water' Cremations

Scotland could become the first part of the UK to approve 'cheaper and greener' water cremations as funeral directors say aquamation burials could dramatically cut greenhouse gas emissions. It is believed that many people would choose the alternative over a traditional cremation if they were given the choice.

The process, known more commonly as 'aquamation', is said to cut the amount of harmful carbon dioxide by up to 90 per cent. It involves heating the body in a mixture of potassium hydroxide and water for up to 90 minutes leaving only the bones. These are then rinsed in the solution at 120C (248F), dried and pulverised into ashes. Those remains are given to the family to keep or scatter, while the waste water from the process is disposed of into the sewage system or used to fertilise plants.

Interest in water cremations rose after Archbishop Desmond Tutu chose the eco-friendly process for his remains following his death on Boxing Day last year. The Dean of St George’s Cathedral, the Very Reverend Michael Weeder, said Archbishop Tutu had ‘aspired to as an eco-warrior’.

Aquamations are understood to be greener than a traditional cremation as they emit fewer greenhouse gases. UK company Resomation, which builds the machines in West Yorkshire, has previously said ‘dozens’ of crematoria across the UK have shown an interest in installing the technology. 

Water cremations are available in some US and Canadian states and parts of the Netherlands, Australia, Mexico and South Africa. However, they are currently illegal in the UK. But the Scottish Government is now looking into passing regulations what would allow the process to be introduced 'as soon as is practicable'.

Tim Purves, director of William Purves, said resomators are 'cheaper to build than cremators' and the 'running process is cheaper as there is no need for gas'. He added: 'We are being told that resomators are cheaper to build than cremators, and the running process is cheaper as there is no need for gas. Over the last 20 years, choice for funerals has increased dramatically and it’s clear that people want that choice. This is particularly true for individuals who are concerned about the environment and making sustainable choices.' 

A spokesperson for the Scottish Government said new methods for the disposal of bodies can be passed under the Burial and Cremation (Scotland) Act of 2016 and a decision on its introduction would include a 'full public consultation'.

Rowley Regis crematorium in the West Midlands hoped to adopt the £300,000 technique after being given planning permission by councillors in 2017. However, the scheme was blocked by water company Severn Trent which refused to grant a ‘trade effluent’ permit, claiming the document only covered waste disposal - not dissolved bodies. Speaking at the time, Water UK, which represents suppliers, said the public may also find the idea of human remains going into the water system ‘distasteful’.  

See the original news article here

Rising funeral costs create unexpected debt

Millions of people have amassed unexpected debts covering the cost of a family member’s funeral.

Research polling 4,000 UK adults found 47 per cent had helped pay for a funeral after a family bereavement, setting them back an average of £2,000 – the equivalent of £49bn across the UK.

For two-fifths of those who have had to lend financial support by paying for funeral costs, it was not something they were prepared for.

As a result, nearly one-fifth had to pay for it using a credit card, while nearly one in 10 had taken out payday loans.

The research, commissioned by British Seniors Insurance Agency as part of their Funeral Costs report, also found 62 per cent had to take money from their own savings, while more than one-tenth had to borrow money from other family and friends.

Oliver Harcourt, marketing director at British Seniors Insurance Agency, said: “Death isn’t necessarily something we want to talk about.

“It can be uncomfortable and daunting, which may discourage planning ahead. Sadly, a lack of planning can result in families being left with an unexpected financial burden when our time comes to pass.

“The British Seniors Funeral Report aims to help educate people on how to better plan ahead, so to ease the impact and stress on loved ones during an already difficult time.”

The poll also found why adults have had to cover funeral expenses, with more than one-fifth saying the deceased did not have enough in their savings or any other money set aside.

More than one in 10 said any funds they did have were used to cover other things, while 18 per cent had a funeral plan in place but it did not cover everything it needed to.

People have had to support late loved ones by supplying funding for the coffin, securing the burial plot, paying for the funeral and associated venues, as well as flowers and catering.

In spite of this misfortune, more than two-fifths of people have not set any money aside or taken out life insurance for their own funeral plans.

Although those who had prepared for the future had managed to save up £3,150 for when they pass away.

The study, conducted via OnePoll, also found one in 10 do not know how much they would need, and 27 per cent were worried about the rising cost of funerals.

As many as seven in 10 agreed funerals were more expensive than five years ago, and more than one-quarter are not entirely sure how much funerals typically cost in the first place.

Burials go High-Tech

With a dire shortage of land for graves, the holy city is reviving an ancient custom of underground burial – with lift access, LED lighting and golf buggies!

Cool air from deep inside the mountain lightly wafts through cavernous arched tunnels. Along the walls of the subterranean passages, rows of human-sized chambers have been dug into the rock. It is unmistakably a catacomb. Yet this mass tomb is not a relic of the Roman empire. It was made with huge electric diggers, and the walls are lined with concrete. People will enter by lift, and those with limited mobility will be able to use a golf buggy to traverse the necropolis.

Facing a dire shortage of land, the city of Jerusalem is preparing at the end of this month to revive an ancient custom of underground burial. A four-year project has dug out a mile of labyrinthine tunnels into a hillside on the outskirts of the holy city to accommodate 23,000 bodies.

“What you are seeing here is the first underground cemetery of the new era,” said Adi Alphandary, head of business development at Rolzur, the Israeli construction company leading the project.

The firm specialises in digging tunnels, typically for trains or roads. Its client for this project, however, has more spiritual demands. The Kehillat Yerushalayim burial society, the biggest group overseeing Jewish burials in Jerusalem, has financed the project, which cost upwards of £45m. It has strict rules, including a ban on cremation and also that the deceased be physically connected to the earth, allowing their bodies to return to the ground.

For that, Rolzur kept the number of graves down to those that can line the walls and floor that touch the earth. Where it has used concrete to fortify the chambers, it left holes in the sides to make sure there is always a direct link to the dolomite bedrock.

Walking around the underground “streets” in a hard hat and high-visibility vest, Alphandary says there is another unusual design challenge for this project: “How do you make it look like a serene place?”

Soft LED lighting lines the austere passages, some of which are 15 metres high and can accommodate nine levels of burial niches along each side. The only colourful flourish comes from the amber glow of giant stained-glass lights that dangle at intersections between the underground avenues, the work of German artist Yvelle Gabriel.

The 30 October inauguration will open just the first third of the complex, with 8,000 graves ready to be filled, while the rest of the tunnels will continue to be dug. Funerals are expected to begin in November. Workers on cranes with spotlights were rushing this week to install two-metre-diameter ventilation pipes that will pump air in and out of the caverns.

In Jerusalem, and across Israel, full-to-capacity graveyards have already closed their gates to new burials. Non-Jews are buried in separate cemeteries.

Moving the dead underground is an idea Rolzur wants to take worldwide, as growing cities have sprawled out to engulf cemeteries that were previously on the outskirts. The space later becomes unusable, as many graves lie unvisited.

“You get these huge metropolitans with lifeless islands in between them,” said Alphandary. “We see this dilemma all over the world.”

The Jerusalem catacombs are directly beneath the city’s biggest Jewish cemetery, Givat Shaul, which is quickly running out of space. It has nearly 250,000 graves and has had to build multi-storey burial structures that look like car parks.

In contrast, the catacombs take up no existing land. “Our plan is 50 metres below existing graveyard,” said Alphandary. “We are, in a way, creating new grounds for burial.”

The current project has taken up just 5% of the available space in the mountain, and that is just at one level.

“Let’s think a bit further,” he said. “Let’s say a hundred years from now all these graves will be filled. All we have to do is go another 50 metres below and we are potentially ready for another 20 times what we’ve done here.

“Don’t waste the upper area for things you can do underground.”

This story originally appeared in The Guardian newspaper

Shameless Scammers Target the Bereaved

Bereaved families face being caught out by a cunning new scam, where criminal gangs steal the identities of legitimate firms and demand money from people who have died.

Fraudsters are sending letters to grieving family members as they tie up loose ends such as paying outstanding bills, dividing up possessions and signing official paperwork, lawyers have warned.

The letters typically request the payments of relatively small amounts of several hundreds of pounds so the demands seem more reasonable and have more chance of duping unsuspecting victims. 

It comes amid a surge in fraud reports, with scams soaring since the pandemic began. Victims lost close to £1bn in the first half of this year alone – up by close to a third on the same period last year, according to the banking trade body UK Finance.

One scam letter sent out to a family requested a sham debt of £420 be settled. The fraudsters were posing as solicitors Consumer Rights Solicitors, a legitimate practice. The firm has been writing to those targeted by the scam warning them not to pay, saying “the letter has not been generated by our company and is fraudulent… we will not be chasing you for any money.” 

Ian Bond, of law firm Thursfields, said he had also seen the con “doing the rounds”, with fraudsters taking advantage of the high coronavirus death toll. 

“The fake claim targets the executors of a deceased estate and comes in towards the end of the claim period; small enough to hope to get through without anyone checking and reliant on the executors wanting to do ‘the right thing’ and pay off the deceased’s debts,” he said. 

“When fulfilling the obligation to pay the deceased’s debts they should check that the debt is actually genuine before they pay it and double check the payment details to ensure if the debt is genuine that the payment is going to the right place.”

Conall Ryan, of law firm Gilbert Stephens, said lay executors, who are often adult children appointed by their parents in wills, or family friends, were more at risk of being caught out. 

“It is quite clever as almost all deaths are recorded in local Gazettes. This is common advice given to families who have lost a loved one as it advertises the death to give companies where the deceased had credit or debts the opportunity to come forward and settle everything.

“So the scammers have a constantly updating database of victims to target and their contact details are there in print,” he said. 

Our Advice: Always think twice before responding to any demands for money, even if they seem polite and official. Phone the company involved (find their contact details on the internet - don’t use those provided in the letter) and ask someone to explain the charges to you. Any scam should soon become apparent.

Making Prices Clear

Here at Wells Funeral Services, we make our pricing as transparent as we can to ensure that there are no nasty surprises for our clients at what is already a very difficult time. However, many other Funeral Directors are not so forthcoming which has led the Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) to issue a warning.

Funeral directors and crematorium operators must make prices clear for customers, the UK's competition watchdog has ordered.

The Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) warned the industry it risked legal action if it did not comply.

The order follows a CMA investigation which identified "serious concerns" about the clarity of funeral costs.

From 16 September, funeral directors must display a standardised price list on their premises and their website.

The list must include the headline price of a funeral, the cost of individual items which go to make up the funeral and prices of extra products and services.

The CMA has also said from 17 June 2021, funeral directors must not pay to incentivise institutions including hospitals, hospices and care homes to refer customers to them. They will also be banned from soliciting for business through coroner and police contacts.

Crematorium operators will also have to display their prices at their premises and on their websites.

Martin Coleman, chairman of the inquiry at the CMA, said: "Organising a funeral is one of the hardest things that anyone must do, and it is vital that people are treated fairly. Customers need clear information so that they know what they will be charged and are able, if they wish, to compare the prices of different providers.

"We urge funeral directors and crematorium operators to start making these changes now. We will be keeping a close eye on the sector and stand ready to take action if firms don't follow the rules."

When the CMA published its investigation findings last December it highlighted various concerns, including that prices for similar services "differed considerably" between funeral directors.

It also said the way information was presented made it hard for people to make comparisons and "choose the right combination of services for their loved ones".

The new rules have entered into law and the CMA said it expected all funeral directors and crematorium operators to "take action to ensure the changes are implemented by the legal deadlines".

The watchdog has also made recommendations to the government on further measures to regulate funeral directors.

However, it said the "exceptional circumstances" of the coronavirus pandemic meant that "some of the remedies the CMA might otherwise have pursued, including measures to control prices, could not be developed".

The chief executive of the National Association of Funeral director Jon Levett said the organisation "warmly welcomes" the publication of the Funerals Market Order.

"Although many funeral firms do publish pricing information online, some don't and there is a wide range of formats used which can be confusing for bereaved consumers at a difficult time.

"The CMA's requirements, although extremely complex in places for small businesses to navigate, support the delivery of high standards to funeral consumers and bring consistency to the process of choosing a funeral director."

Throw Ashes in the Sea!

"Everyone should be cremated and thrown in the sea," a councillor said during a debate on extending a cemetery.

Andrew Hinchliff made the comment about plans to extend Llanrhos cemetery in Llandudno, Conwy county.

A report in March found four of the county's 11 cemeteries were full, but opponents objected to the use of green space for an additional 1,568 plots.

Councillors passed the plans in line with officer recommendations by six votes to one, with five abstentions.

"I'm not a big fan of cemeteries," Mr Hinchliff told the committee. "I think everyone should be cremated and thrown in the sea for all I care. If we are going to have it as part of a parkland and we happen to own it, we want to do the very least to disturb it."

Responding to the comments, the committee chairman Alan Hunter said: "I think we have to respect people's wishes about how they deal with their loved ones when they depart this world."

The proposal to extend the cemetery prompted a number of objections because it will be sited on green land in a "designated special landscape area", the Local Democracy Reporting Service said.

The 2.1 acre (0.87 hectare) parcel of land adjacent to the cemetery is currently used for grazing horses and is separated from the existing burial ground by a hedge, fence and some small trees.

March's report said 20% of deaths resulted in a burial and with the population rising in the county the number of burials would continue to steadily rise.

What are Grief Therapy Dogs?

Grief therapy dogs first started appearing in funeral homes in the United States. They are generally owned by the funeral director and attend the funeral or memorial service at the request of the family.

In 2018, the UK’s first grief- therapy dog, Basil the Beagle, also started working at Clive Pugh Funeral Directors in Shropshire. Basil is a ‘comfort companion’ for people who visit them to arrange a funeral and sometimes, at the family’s request, attends the funeral as well.

Grief-therapy can provide a calming presence for people, especially children, who are attending the funeral. They can also relax people who have never attended one before and don’t know what happens at a funeral or who have a fear of funerals. Grief-therapy dogs can also be helpful for supporting a bereaved child who have lost someone very close to them, especially if they are going to speak at the funeral.

Grief-therapy dogs only attend funerals at the request of a family. Their presence is usually sign-posted at the entrance to the venue so that anyone who is allergic to dogs or afraid of them is aware of it. If a large number of people, or anyone very close to the person who has died, would prefer not to have a grief-therapy at the funeral then it is not an appropriate thing to do.

Grief-therapy dogs are still rare at funerals in the UK, but animal-assisted therapy in care homes can be helpful for supporting an elderly person coping with grief.