The Five Stages of Grief. Grief is a natural part of life. Whether you’re dealing with the loss of a loved one, a significant life change, or a deep disappointment, grief affects us all in profound ways. While it can feel overwhelming, understanding the emotions that come with grief can help us cope and begin the healing process.
In 1969, Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the “Five Stages of Grief” in her book On Death and Dying. While these stages don’t follow a strict pattern and everyone experiences grief differently, they provide a helpful framework for understanding the emotions that often accompany loss.
Here’s a closer look at the five stages of grief and how they might show up in your life:
Denial
Denial is often the first response to grief. When we lose someone or something important, it’s common to feel numb or in disbelief. You might think, “This can’t be happening,” as your mind tries to protect you from the immediate shock. Denial gives you time to gradually absorb the reality of the situation at your own pace.
Anger
Once the shock starts to fade, anger often sets in. You might feel frustrated with yourself, the circumstances, or even the person who has died. Anger is a natural response to the sense of unfairness that loss can bring. It’s important to let yourself feel this emotion and express it in healthy ways, whether that’s talking to a friend, seeking professional support, or finding a creative outlet.
Bargaining
During the bargaining stage, people often dwell on “what ifs” and “if onlys.” You may find yourself thinking, “If only I had done something differently, this wouldn’t have happened.” This phase reflects the guilt and desire to reverse or change the outcome. It’s important to recognise that some things are beyond our control, and this stage is a part of making peace with that reality.
Depression
Grief often brings a deep sadness, which is completely natural. You may feel hopeless or withdrawn, as the weight of your loss becomes more real. While this stage can feel overwhelming, it’s important to differentiate between normal grief-related sadness and clinical depression. If you feel unable to move forward or the sadness becomes persistent, reaching out to a mental health professional can help.
Acceptance
Acceptance doesn’t mean that the pain of loss is gone. It means you’ve begun to come to terms with your new reality. You may start to find ways to honour the memory of your loved one or adjust to life’s changes. Acceptance is about learning to live with the loss while gradually re-engaging with life in a meaningful way.
Grief Is Unique To You
It’s important to remember that grief doesn’t follow a linear path. You might not experience these stages in order, or you may find yourself revisiting certain stages at different times. Some people experience one stage more intensely than others, and that’s perfectly okay. Grief is a deeply personal journey, and there’s no “right” way to grieve.
Coping With Grief
Dealing with grief is difficult, but there are ways to make the process more manageable:
• Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a support group. Sharing your feelings with someone who understands can bring comfort.
• Express Yourself: Find creative outlets for your emotions, such as writing, drawing, or music, to help you process your feelings.
• Take Care of Yourself: Prioritise self-care by getting enough rest, eating well, and staying active. Physical well-being supports emotional healing.
• Reach Out for Professional Help: If grief feels overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counsellor.
• Create a Memorial: Honouring your loved one in a meaningful way, whether through a memorial, charity donation, or participating in activities they loved, can be healing.
• Set Realistic Expectations: There is no set timeline for healing. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve at your own pace.
You Don’t Have To Go Through It Alone
Grief is a complex, personal process. Understanding the five stages of grief can help you navigate the emotional journey of loss, but it’s important to be patient with yourself. Healing from grief doesn’t mean forgetting—it means learning to live with the loss while finding ways to move forward.
Remember, you don’t have to go through this journey alone. Wells Funeral Services are here to continue supporting you once the funeral is over. We work closely with an experienced grief counsellor, who specialises in helping individuals navigate their grief. If you need additional support, we can connect you with her to help you through this challenging time. Get in touch via our website https://www.wellsfuneralservices.co.uk or call us on 01749 670100.
Additional support can also be found at https://www.cruse.org.uk https://www.samaritans.org https://www.sands.org.uk https://www.macmillan.org.uk